Gosh Mom… after all these years, God's not going to take a call from you. She keeps saying that God is going to show me a sign. The… something of my ways. Say something that will terrify me. Lindsay: F*** me. Tobias: No, that didn't do it. Wow, this is the best free scrapbooking class I've ever taken! ps This one really cracks me up for some reason.

Obviously this blue part here is the land. Taste the happy, Michael. Taste it. It tastes kind of like sad. Are you at all concerned about an uprising? I [bleeped] the business model. Yeah, she had all kinds of orgasms. Yes, he's like the steel man from The Wizard From Oz.

I know, I just call her Annabelle cause she's shaped like a…she's the belle of the ball! Yes, she happens to be more experienced than a normal girl, but sometimes love should be… terrifying. If you don't start pulling your weight around here its going to be shape up, or…ship up. Boy, I sure feel like a Mary without a Peter and a Paul.

O-kay, who'd like a banger in the mouth? I don't criticize you! And if you're worried about criticism, sometimes a diet is the best defense. What, so the guy we are meeting with can't even grow his own hair? COME ON! Stop licking my hand, you horse's ass.

I will pack your sweet pink mouth with so much ice cream you'll be the envy of every Jerry and Jane on the block! But anyhoo, can you believe that the only reason the club is going under is because it's in a terrifying neighborhood? I'm not interested in you that way. Tobias: What way? Michael: Pick one. If you don't start pulling your weight around here its going to be shape up, or…ship up. I'll be in the hospital bar. You know there isn't a hospital bar, Mother. Well, this is why people hate hospitals. I see you've wasted no time in filling my seat hole. If this were a Lifetime Moment of Truth movie, this would be our act break. But it wasn't.

If you don't start pulling your weight around here its going to be shape up, or…ship up. I may have committed some light treason. You need to do more with Rita. Believe me, I'd like to. I should be in this Poof. Smack of ham. What is she doing at a beauty pageant? Is she running the lights or something?

Do the right thing here. String this blind girl along so that dad doesn't have to pay his debt to society. What's next, Michael? Are you going to make dancing illegal? Is this the tiny town from Footloose? She tried pesto for the first time. Imagine that, 92 years old and she never tried pesto. She keeps saying that God is going to show me a sign. The… something of my ways. There's a new daddy in town. A discipline daddy. Michael, look, this has got to stop. I mean, flattered? Yes. Interested? Not tonight. A night of heterosexual intercourse.

I see you've wasted no time in filling my seat hole. What's gotten into you? Have you been eating cheese? Heyyyyyy, Uncle Father Oscar. Oh, yeah, the guy in the the $4,000 suit is holding the elevator for a guy who doesn't make that in three months. Come on! Yo quiero leche. Yo quiero leche de madre. Boy, I sure feel like a Mary without a Peter and a Paul.

I'm sure Egg is a great person. That's my son, you pothead! Do you have any idea how often you say the word afraid? Well, I know I used it in the Jacuzzi. You mean the guy we're meeting with can't even grow his own hair? Come on!

Wow. We're just blowing through nap time, aren't we. Buster, what are you doing with mother's rape-horn?