Dad asked me to do this on the day he pleads not guilty, as a spectacular protest. A…. ? So did you see the new Poof? His name's Gary and we don't need anymore lawsuits. Second-of-ly, I know you're the big marriage expert. Oh I'm sorry, I forgot, your wife is dead. A million ****ing diamonds! "Circumvent." It means "to go around." Gob: The old "reach around." My brother wasn't optimistic it could be done, but I didn't take "wasn't optimistic it could be done" for an answer. I run a pretty tight ship around here. With a pool table. Don't worry, these young beauties have been nowhere near the bananas.

These are my awards, Mother. From Army. The seal is for marksmanship, and the gorilla is for sand racing. It's Sunday, but screw it — juice box time. With spicy club sauce. Can't a guy call his mother pretty without it seeming strange? Amen. And how about that little piece of tail on her? Cute! What is she doing at a beauty pageant? Is she running the lights or something? Oh, I don't have any drugs for sale, unless… did you want me to follow you to your car?

Shémale. What about macaroni – let me finish – salad? No, no, it's pronounced a-nal-ra-pist. It wasn't really the pronunciation that bothered me. Of course. The "Bob Loblaw Law Blog." Wow. You, sir, are a mouthful! No one's called him Baby Buster since high school. A night of heterosexual intercourse. I'm not interested in you that way. Tobias: What way? Michael: Pick one.

When a.. man.. needs to prove to a woman that he's actually.. [pause].. When a man loves a woman.. I run a pretty tight ship around here. With a pool table. So Ann, the question is, do you want a man or a boy? I know how I would answer. Chaw-chee, chaw-chee chaw-chee! Coo coo ca cha! Ah coodle doodle do Caw ca caw, caw ca caw.

Well, they got the Asian right… "hotties" might be a stretch. So maybe you could start jete-ing, and stop je-terrorizing me! You're a good guy, mon frere. That means brother in French. I don't know how I know that. I took four years of Spanish. Bob Loblaw Lobs Law Bomb. There are very few intelligent, attractive and straight men in this town. Well, that certainly leaves me out. In prison, you just have to close your eyes and take it, but here you have to close your eyes and give it. Go ahead, touch the Cornballer.

Coo coo ca chaw. Coo coo ca chaw. Coo coo ca chaw. YOU'RE the Chiclet! Not me. Caw ca caw, caw ca caw, caw ca caw! Everybody dance… NOW. I know what an erection feels like, Michael.

Go ahead, touch the Cornballer. I call it Tricks –- wait for it – Around The Office. When a.. man.. needs to prove to a woman that he's actually.. [pause].. When a man loves a woman..

You're blowing my mind, Frank. Do the right thing here. String this blind girl along so that dad doesn't have to pay his debt to society.

Touché, Pandora. It's as Ann as the nose on plain's face. The only thing more terrifying than the escaped lunatic's hook was his twisted call… Hey campers!

They don't allow you to have bees in here. What's next, Michael? Are you going to make dancing illegal? Is this the tiny town from Footloose? I could use a leather jacket for when I'm on my hog and have to go into a controlled slide. Happy. I will pack your sweet pink mouth with so much ice cream you'll be the envy of every Jerry and Jane on the block!