You just made a fool out of yourself in front of T-Bone. Well excuse me, Judge Reinhold. I didn't get into this business to please sophomore Tracy Schwartzman, so… onward and upward. On… Why, Tracy?! Why?!! If I look like a man who made love to his wife last night – it's because I almost did. I don't care if it takes from now till the end of Shrimpfest. Sister's my new mother, Mother. And is it just me or is she looking hotter? Perhaps an attic shall I seek.

Taste the happy, Michael. Taste it. It tastes kind of like sad. I mean, it's one banana, Michael. What could it cost, ten dollars? Te quiero. English, please. I love you! Great, now I'm late. Pound is tic-tac-toe, right? Excuse me while I circumvent you. The old reach-around. The worst that could happen is that I could spill coffee all over this $3,000 suit. COME ON.

That was Tom Cruise, the actor. Lucille: They said he was some kind of scientist. Mr. Zuckerkorn, you've been warned about touching. You said spanking. O-kay, who'd like a banger in the mouth? You might wanna lean away from that fire since you're soaked in alcohol. I could use a leather jacket for when I'm on my hog and have to go into a controlled slide. This is not what it looks like. It looks like you're tweaking her nipples through a chain-link fence. I just don't want him to point out my cracker ass in front of Ann. I'm not a prostitute. Then I shall let you live!

It's ok. You be with Yam. Uncle Gob, was Aunt Lindsay ever pregnant? Yeah, sure, dozens of times.

Make love in your *own* hand, Mother! GENE!! [screams]

That coat costs more than your house! YOU'RE the Chiclet! Not me. Caw ca caw, caw ca caw, caw ca caw!

I spent so much time making sweet love on my wife that it's hard to hear anything over the clatter of her breasts. I'm not interested in you that way. Tobias: What way? Michael: Pick one. What have we always said is the most important thing? I'm gonna build me an airport, put my name on it. Why, Michael? So you can fly away from your feelings? But anyhoo, can you believe that the only reason the club is going under is because it's in a terrifying neighborhood? I'm an ideas man, Michael. I think I proved that with "Fuck Mountain." The worst that could happen is that I could spill coffee all over this $3,000 suit. COME ON. Buster's in what we like to call a light to no coma. In laymans terms, it might be considered a very heavy nap.

Oh please. They didn't sneak into this country to be your friends. She keeps saying that God is going to show me a sign. The… something of my ways. Wisdom?

I made a huge tiny mistake. I'll sacrifice anything for my children. After all, why should you go to jail for a crime somebody else noticed?

A million [bleep]ing diamonds! I know what an erection feels like, Michael. Are all the guys in here… you know? George Sr: No not all of them. Barry: Yeah. It's never the ones you hope.