I got Michael out of his marriage, didn't I? Actually, she died. I know, I just call her Annabelle cause she's shaped like a…she's the belle of the ball! I don't want no part of yo tight-ass country-club, ya freak bitch!

I don't care if it takes from now till the end of Shrimpfest. She's not 'that Mexican', Mom. She's my Mexican. And she's Colombian or something. It seems like only yesterday you were bursting forth from your mother's fertile womb. No. I was ashamed to be _seen_ with you. I like being with you. It's, like, Hey, you want to go down to the whirlpool? Yeah, I don't have a husband. I call it Swing City. You're losing blood, aren't you? Probably, my socks are wet.

Go ahead, touch the cornballer. In the mid '90s, Tobias formed a folk music band with Lindsay and Maebe which he called Dr. Funke's 100 Percent Natural Good Time Family Band Solution. The group was underwritten by the Natural Food Life Company, a division of Chem-Grow, an Allen Crayne acqusition, which was part of the Squimm Group. Their motto was simple: We keep you alive.

Go ahead, touch the cornballer. The Army had half a day. Could it be love? I know what an erection feels like, Michael. No, it's the opposite… like my heart is getting hard. So, what do you say? We got a basket full of father-son fun here. What's Kama Sutra oil? Maybe it's not for us.

Did you know that more frozen bananas are sold right here on this boardwalk than anywhere in the OC? Speaking of settling, how's Ann? Oh, yeah. The guy in the $4,000 suit is holding the elevator for a guy who doesn't make that in three months. COME ON! Smack of ham. What is she doing at a beauty pageant? Is she running the lights or something? If I make this comeback, I'll buy you a hundred George Michaels that you can teach to drive!

Go ahead, touch the cornballer. It's as Ann as the nose on plain's face. I guess you can say I'm buy-curious. Touché, Pandora. I just dont want him to point out my cracker ass in front of Ann. No one's called him Baby Buster since high school. Heyyyyyy Uncle Father Oscar. It's sort of like going from prime rib to… I don't know… weird brother of prime rib.

Although George Michael had only got to second base, he'd gone in head first, like Pete Rose. I've used one adjective to describe myself. What is it? She's not that Mexican, Mom. She's my Mexican. And she's Columbian or something. Perhaps an attic shall I seek. We have unlimited juice? This party is going to be off the hook.

Did you know that more frozen bananas are sold right here on this boardwalk than anywhere in the OC? If you're suggesting I play favorites, you're wrong. I love all of my children equally. I don't care for Gob.

Pound is tic-tac-toe right? She wanted to look 48. I nearly airbrushed her into oblivion. Ended up checking "albino" on the form. There's unlimited juice? This party is gonna be off the hook. Each year, Oscar attempts the four hundred mile walk from Newport Beach to Berkeley, California. In the twelve years that he's attempted this, he's never made it farther than UC Irvine. So Ann, the question is, do you want a man or a boy? I know how I would answer. But anyhoo, can you believe that the only reason the club is going under is because it's in a terrifying neighborhood? I shall hide behind the couch. (Guy's a pro.) Perhaps an attic shall I seek.

Operation Hot Mother. A trick is something a whore does for money…or candy. … or cocaine. This is the best free scrapbooking class I've ever taken! See for more good stuff.