If you're suggesting I play favorites, you're wrong. I love all of my children equally. I don't care for Gob. I know she's a brownish area! With points! And I love her! No, Pop-pop does not get a treat, I just brought you a [bleep]ing pizza. George Michael may be suffering from what we in the soft-sciences call Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, or the "OC Disorder." And THAT'S why you always leave a note. After all, why should you go to jail for a crime somebody else noticed?

But I didn't take wasn't optimistic it could be done for an answer. Why are you squeezing me with your body? If this were a Lifetime Moment of Truth movie, this would be our act break. But it wasn't.

How do you know Steve Holt? Are you in AA? A trick is something a whore does for money… or cocaine. Yes, he's like the steel man from The Wizard From Oz. You need to do more with Rita. Believe me, I'd like to. Chaw-chee, chaw-chee chaw-chee! Coo coo ca cha! Ah coodle doodle do Caw ca caw, caw ca caw. I'm not interested in you that way. Tobias: What way? Michael: Pick one. Now, do you wanna steer, or are you too old to sit on your Pop's lap and drive?

Let me take off my assistant's skirt and put on my Barbra-Streisand-in-The-Prince-of-Tides ass-masking therapist pantsuit. Everything they do is so dramatic and flamboyant. It just makes me want to set myself on fire. Stop licking my hand, you horse's ass. So did you see the new Poof? His name's Gary and we don't need anymore lawsuits. He's a regular Freddie Wilson, that one. Buster, what are you doing with mother's rape horn?

Pound is tic-tac-toe right? Wine only turns to alcohol if you let it sit. Well, obviously, I'm not a big guy. I'm not a Carl Weathers, par example. George Bush doesn't care about black puppets. Stop licking my hand, you horse's ass. Oh, yeah, the $4,000 suit is holding the elevator for a guy who doesn't make that in 3 months. Come on! And the soup of the day is bread. But anyhoo, can you believe that the only reason the club is going under is because it's in a terrifying neighborhood?

I deceived you, mom. Tricked makes it sound like we have a playful relationship. I think that's one of Mom's little fibs, you know, like I'll sacrifice anything for my children. Did you enjoy your lunch, mom? You drank it fast enough.

So Ann, the question is, do you want a man or a boy? I know how I would answer. The Man Inside Me seems well reviewed. It was for me. I was going to smoke the marijuana like a cigarette. Coo coo ca chaw. Coo coo ca chaw. Dead Dove DO NOT EAT. I hate the Wetlands. They're stupid and wet, and there are bugs everywhere, and I think I maced a crane.

Look, you are playing adults…with fully formed libidos, not 2 young men playing grab-ass in the shower. What's next, Michael? Are you going to make dancing illegal? Is this the tiny town from Footloose? Speaking of settling, How's Ann? I've been in the film business for a while but I just cant seem to get one in the can. Pound is tic-tac-toe, right? I've always been deeply passionate about nature. Perhaps you remember Neuterfest? Turns out he ended up getting too friendly with the teddy bear.

I'll buy you a hundred George Michaels that you can teach to drive! I thought the two of us could talk man-on-man. It's a jetpack, Michael. What could go wrong? Go ahead, touch the cornballer. Oh…yeah…the guy in the…the $4,000 suit is holding the elevator for a guy who doesn't make that in three months. Come on!

Did you know that more frozen bananas are sold right here on this boardwalk than anywhere in the OC? Look at us, crying like a bunch of girls on the last day of camp. No, she's in it. She's a contestant. It's sorta like an inner beauty pageant. Ah, there it is. We need a name. Maybe "Operation Hot Mother." No, let's try to top that. (They never did.) I [bleeped] the business model. Yeah, she had all kinds of orgasms. Well, I hope you also carry a spare bowl of candy beans.