Chickens don't clap! I'm tired of trying to find happiness through lies and self-medicating. If you need me, I'll be at the bar. A trick is something a whore does for money…or candy. … or cocaine.

I'm tired of trying to find happiness through lies and self-medicating. If you need me, I'll be at the bar. You're losing blood, aren't you? Probably, my socks are wet. I'm sure Egg is a great person. I'd rather be dead in California than alive in Arizona. Maybe it was the other George Michael. You know, the singer-songwriter.

I know, I just call her Annabelle cause she's shaped like a… she's the belle of the ball! I made a huge tiny mistake. Are all the guys in here… you know? George Sr.: No, not all of them. Barry: Yeah. It's never the ones you hope.

Yeah, well, have you seen the new Mustang? You could hump that hood. There's a girl in my soup! But anyhoo, can you believe that the only reason the club is going under is because it's in a terrifying neighborhood? A million [bleep]ing diamonds! Oh, yes, there absolutely will be a margarita made in my mouth. I've used one adjective to describe myself. What is it? I need a tea to give my dingle less tingle. Here he comes. Here comes John Wayne.

I am getting rid of this thing. It has caused me nothing but pride and self-respect. Heyyyy Uncle Father Oscar. This show was cancelled. I mean, COME ON. A lady of the evening. Working girl. She turns illusions for money. Well, Michael, I did not find their buffoonery amusing.

What is she doing at a beauty pageant? Is she running the lights or something? Friend of mine from college. He also has a boat tho not called the Seaward. I'm not interested in you that way. Tobias: What way? Michael: Pick one. And I am rock steady. No more dizzies. Well, OK, have sex with this girl. Right now. Get in there, have some sex with her.

Although George Michael had only got to second base, he'd gone in head first, like Pete Rose. You are a worse psychiatrist than you are a son-in-law and you will never get work as an actor because you have no talent. She's always got to wedge herself in the middle of us so that she can control everything. Yeah. Mom's awesome. They don't appreciate him. It's his glasses… they make him look like a lizard. Plus he's self-conscious. It seems like only yesterday you were bursting forth from your mother's fertile womb. Buster, what are you doing with mother's rape-horn? However, she mistook the drowsy eye alcohol warning for a winking eye alcohol suggestion. I will pack your sweet pink mouth with so much ice cream you'll be the envy of every Jerry and Jane on the block!

Dead Dove DO NOT EAT. [sniffs hand] Oh, God. I'm going to run this through again on "pots and pans." Daddy horny, Michael. "Circumvent." It means "to go around." Gob: The old "reach around." Oh, yes, there absolutely will be a margarita made in my mouth. Turn this skiff around!

You can control your bladder when you're dead! Did Ted make an appointment? No. Well then Ted can GET THE HELL OUT OF THIS OFFICE! YOU GET THE HELL OUT! Touché, Pandora. A-coodle-doodle-doo. A-coodle-doodle-doo.

See for more good stuff. And I am rock steady. No more dizzies. Taste the happy, Michael! Taste it! Stack the chafing dishes outside by the mailbox. I'm on the job. You must teach me the ways of the secular flesh. I just haven't had sex in a month. You know, you've been here two months. It's hard to gauge time.