When a man needs to prove to a woman that he's actually… When a man loves a woman… You're losing blood, aren't you? Gob: Probably, my socks are wet. Everybody dance… NOW.

Heyyyyyy Uncle Father Oscar. I know, I just call her Annabelle cause she's shaped like a…she's the belle of the ball! If this were a Lifetime Moment of Truth movie, this would be our act break. But it wasn't. ♪♪ And the thought of rubbin' you is getting so exciting. Sky rockets in flight! Afternoon delight! ♪♪ They're not gonna strip, right? I told them not to, but I can't guarantee their instincts won't kick in. Wine only turns to alcohol if you let it sit.

Hey, maybe you could pop a tent outside with your cousin Maeby… it'd be a good chance to rub off on her. When a man needs to prove to a woman that he's actually… When a man loves a woman… But I'm the oldest. The matriarch if you will. I prematurely shot my wad on what was supposed to be a dry run, so now I'm afraid I have something of a mess on my hands. Here he comes. Here comes John Wayne. Am I in two thirds of a hospital room? How could I say no to the woman who gave me chlamydia? I didn't mean who… I meant… her?

Did you enjoy your lunch, mom? You drank it fast enough. Today I learned this is a real place, tho more lush than the OC. Buster, you remember when we were kissing last night? Buster: It was a wild, wild ride. I'm sure Egg is a great person. O-kay, who'd like a banger in the mouth?

Actually, that was a box of Oscar's legally obtained medical marijuana. Primo bud. Real sticky weed. A night of heterosexual intercourse. Heyyyyyy Uncle Father Oscar. Annyong. And that is why Jesus was often referred to as the King of Kings. Queens. The King of Queens. Each year, Oscar attempts the four hundred mile walk from Newport Beach to Berkeley, California. In the twelve years that he's attempted this, he's never made it farther than UC Irvine.

No, it's the opposite. It's like my heart is getting hard. Hey, it was one night of wild passion! And yet you didn't notice her body? I like to look in the mirror.

She tried pesto for the first time. Imagine that, 92 years old and she never tried pesto. There are dozens of us! Dozens! Look at us, crying like a bunch of girls on the last day of camp. Dead Dove DO NOT EAT. Yes, she happens to be more experienced than a normal girl, but sometimes love should be… terrifying. This is not what it looks like. It looks like you're tweaking her nipples through a chain-link fence. No, Pop-pop does not get a treat, I just brought you a [bleep]ing pizza. If I wanted something your thumb touched, I'd eat the inside of your ear.

There's been a lot of lying in this family. And a lot of love! More lies. It walked on my pillow! The CIA should've just Googled for his hideout, evidently. You can control your bladder when you're dead! Operation Hot Mother.

What do you expect, Mother? I'm half machine! I'm a monster!! The Army had half a day.

I didn't get into this business to please sophomore Tracy Schwartzman, so… onward and upward. On… Why, Tracy?! Why?!! Whoa whoa whoa whoa. Wait. Are you telling me you have a multi-stage trick with hidden identities? I am going to my spin class. I thought you had vertigo. It's ok. You be with Yam. Perhaps an attic shall I seek. Fried cheese… with club sauce.