Friday night. Mr. Zuckerkorn, you've been warned about touching. Barry: You said spanking. I prematurely shot my wad on what was supposed to be a dry run..so now I'm afraid I have something of a mess on my hands. Yes, Annyong. Your name is Annyong! We all know you're Annyong!

Don't worry, these young beauties have been nowhere near the bananas. I need a fake passport, preferably to France…I like the way they think. I need a fake passport, preferably to France…I like the way they think. I'll be in the hospital bar. You know there isn't a hospital bar, Mother. Well, this is why people hate hospitals. I shall hide behind the couch. (Guy's a pro.)

Monday morning. COME ON! But I'm the oldest. The matriarch if you will. No, I was ashamed to be SEEN with you. I like being with you. Fun and failure both start out the same way. I know, I just call her Annabelle cause she's shaped like a…she's the belle of the ball! Well, Michael, I did not find their buffoonery amusing. This is the best free scrapbooking class I've ever taken!

OH MY GOD, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE… sale. Oh, the burning! ♪♪ Amaaaaaaziiiing Graaaace ♪♪ God knows they're squinters. She calls it a mayonegg. Heart attack never stopped old Big Bear. I didn't even know we were calling him Big Bear. We never had the chance to. Yes, she happens to be more experienced than a normal girl, but sometimes love should be… terrifying. I know what an erection feels like, Michael.

Michael, I'm your older brother. I'll never be proud of you. I want to cry so bad, but I don't think I can spare the moisture. How do you know Steve Holt? Are you in AA? I will be a bigger and hairier mole than the one on your inner left thigh! I'm not interested in you that way. Tobias: What way? Michael: Pick one. Buster's in what we like to call a light to no coma. In layman's terms, it might be considered a very heavy nap.

[sniffs hand] Oh, God. I'm going to run this through again on "pots and pans." You were just a turd out there, you know? You couldn't kick, and you couldn't run, you know? You were just a turd. It looks like you've been looking for dragons… in the future. No, she's in it. She's a contestant. It's sorta like an inner beauty pageant. Ah, there it is. What's gotten into you? Have you been eating cheese? Hahahahah! I prematurely shot my wad on what was supposed to be a dry run, so now I'm afraid I have something of a mess on my hands. I know what an erection feels like, Michael. No, it's the opposite. It's like my heart is getting hard. However, she mistook the drowsy eye alcohol warning for a winking eye alcohol suggestion.

What a fun, sexy time for you. She keeps saying that God is going to show me a sign. The… something of my ways. I don't criticize you! And if you're worried about criticism, sometimes a diet is the best defense. Stop it, stop it. This objectification of women has to stop. Michael: It's just Mom and whores. No one was making fun of Andy Griffith. I can't emphasize that enough. Great, now I'm gonna smell to high heaven like a tuna melt! Well, they got the Asian right… "hotties" might be a stretch.

You're losing blood, aren't you? Gob: Probably, my socks are wet. If I wanted something your thumb touched, I'd eat the inside of your ear. I'm foolish and I'm funny and I'm needy. Am I needy? Are you sure I'm not needy? 'Cause I feel needy sometimes. I will pack your sweet pink mouth with so much ice cream you'll be the envy of every Jerry and Jane on the block!

Suddenly playing with yourself is a scholarly pursuit? After all, why should you go to jail for a crime somebody else noticed?

Daddy horny, Michael. That's how Tony Wonder lost a nut. Monday morning. COME ON! Touché, Pandora. Everybody dance… NOW. I'm gonna build me an airport, put my name on it. Why, Michael? So you can fly away from your feelings? In prison, you just have to close your eyes and take it, but here you have to close your eyes and give it.