Fried cheese… with club sauce. Popcorn shrimp… with club sauce. Chicken fingers… with spicy club sauce. I'll have a vodka rocks. (Mom, it's breakfast time.) And a piece of toast. Say something that will terrify me. Lindsay: F*** me. Tobias: No, that didn't do it. Hey, it was one night of wild passion! And yet you didn't notice her body? I like to look in the mirror. Well, OK, have sex with this girl. Right now. Get in there, have some sex with her.

Well, I spent so much time making sweet love on my wife that it's hard to hear anything over the clatter of her breasts. Yo quiero leche. Yo quiero leche de madre. I guess you can say I'm buy-curious. Did you enjoy your lunch, mom? You drank it fast enough. YOU'RE the Chiclet! Not me. Caw ca caw, caw ca caw, caw ca caw! Dad asked me to do this on the day he pleads not guilty, as a spectacular protest. A…. ?

If I wanted something your thumb touched, I'd eat the inside of your ear. We need a name. Maybe 'Operation Hot Mother'. You might enjoy this. Oh. Em. Gee. That's amazing. Daddy horny, Michael. Heart attack never stopped old big bear. "Circumvent." It means "to go around." Gob: The old "reach around."

I'm in Vegas this week and would like to point out the Blue Man Group is *actually* hiring. The support group? Bob Loblaw Law Blog. So did you see the new Poof? His name's Gary, and we don't need anymore lawsuits. I want to cry so bad, but I don't think I can spare the moisture. Let me give that oatmeal some brown sugar.

Bob Loblaw Law Blog. Let me take off my assistant's skirt and put on my Barbra-Streisand-in-The-Prince-of-Tides ass-masking therapist pantsuit. Stop licking my hand, you horse's ass. Coo coo ca chaw. Coo coo ca chaw.

You burn down the storage unit? Oh, most definitely. I'm afraid I'm with Michael on this one. The guy runs a prison, he can have any piece of ass he wants. I could use a leather jacket for when I'm on my hog and have to go into a controlled slide. Well, obviously, I'm not a big guy. I'm not a Carl Weathers, par example.

Can't a guy call his mother pretty without it seeming strange? Amen. And how about that little piece of tail on her? Cute! Oh, yes, there absolutely will be a margarita made in my mouth. Michael was concerned that he was caught in a lie about his family. The family was concerned that they were being confronted by a woman they had clubbed, drugged, and left on a bench.

Oh, yes, there absolutely will be a margarita made in my mouth. I've always been deeply passionate about nature. Perhaps you remember Neuterfest? If I wanted something your thumb touched, I'd eat the inside of your ear. Please refrain from Mayoneggs during this salmonella scare. George Michael, you want to put your head down there by his drainage shunt?

You might enjoy this. Oh. Em. Gee. That's amazing. I'll have a vodka rocks. (Mom, it's breakfast time.) And a piece of toast.

The worst that could happen is that I could spill coffee all over this $3,000 suit. COME ON. Make love in your *own* hand, Mother!