The only thing more terrifying than the escaped lunatic's hook was his twisted call… Heyyyyy campers! Yeah, like I'm going to take a whiz through this $5,000 suit. COME ON. I could use a leather jacket for when I'm on my hog and have to go into a controlled slide. When a man needs to prove to a woman that he's actually… When a man loves a woman… Yeah, well, have you seen the new Mustang? You could hump that hood. It walked on my pillow! Yeah, like I'm going to spill coffee all over this $3,000 suit? Come on! Why are you squeezing me with your body?

He's a regular Freddie Wilson, that one. That's the first time we were in the shower since our honeymoon. And this time, no tears. Family Love Michael. A night of heterosexual intercourse. Oh, yes, there absolutely will be a margarita made in my mouth. Mom… after all these years, God's not going to take a call from you. She's trying to prove that she's closer to my children than I am, but the joke's on her, because she doesn't know how little I care for GOB.

Buster, what are you doing with mother's rape horn? Michael, I'm your older brother. I'll never be proud of you.

Each year, Oscar attempts the four hundred mile walk from Newport Beach to Berkeley, California. In the twelve years that he's attempted this, he's never made it farther than UC Irvine. Please refrain from discussing or engaging in any sort of interoffice [bleep] or [bleep] or finger[bleep] or [bleep]sting or [bleep] or even [bleep]. What a fun, sexy time for you. You can control your bladder when you're dead! Wow, this is the best free scrapbooking class I've ever taken! ps This one really cracks me up for some reason.

Oh…yeah…the guy in the…the $4,000 suit is holding the elevator for a guy who doesn't make that in three months. Come on! Taste the happy, Michael. Taste it. It tastes kind of like sad. Suddenly playing with yourself is a scholarly pursuit? Gosh Mom… after all these years, God's not going to take a call from you. Could it be love? I know what an erection feels like, Michael. No, it's the opposite… like my heart is getting hard. She's not that Mexican, Mom. She's my Mexican. And she's Columbian or something. Don't ask "Can I"… ask "I Can!"

I'll be in the hospital bar. You know there isn't a hospital bar, Mother. Well, this is why people hate hospitals. However, she mistook the drowsy eye alcohol warning for a winking eye alcohol suggestion. Taste the happy, Michael! Taste it!

Do you guys know where I could get one of those gold necklaces with the T on it? That's a cross. Across from where? Smack of ham. What is she doing at a beauty pageant? Is she running the lights or something? And that is why Jesus was often referred to as the King of Kings. Queens. The King of Queens. Are all the guys in here… you know? George Sr: No not all of them. Barry: Yeah. It's never the ones you hope. Second-of-ly, I know you're the big marriage expert. Oh I'm sorry, I forgot, your wife is dead. Hey, it was one night of wild passion! And yet you didn't notice her body? I like to look in the mirror. Well excuse me, Judge Reinhold. There's a new daddy in town. A discipline daddy.

Everything they do is so dramatic and flamboyant. It just makes me want to set myself on fire. In prison, you just have to close your eyes and take it, but here you have to close your eyes and give it. Wow. We're just blowing through nap time, aren't we? I was set up. By the Brits. A group of British builders operating outside the O.C. Talk you off what, Pop Pop? I hear the jury's still out on science. Mom always taught us to curl up in a ball and remain motionless when confronted.

Did you know that more frozen bananas are sold right here on this boardwalk than anywhere in the OC? Yeah, like anyone would want to R her. Heyyyyy, hermano. Buster, what are you doing with mother's rape horn? I think that's one of Mom's little fibs, you know, like I'll sacrifice anything for my children. Everything they do is so dramatic and flamboyant. It just makes me want to set myself on fire.

Oh, yes, there absolutely will be a margarita made in my mouth. Annyong.