Well, yeah you've gotta lock that down. Whoa whoa whoa whoa. Wait. Are you telling me you have a multi-stage trick with hidden identities? Michael was concerned that he was caught in a lie about his family. The family was concerned that they were being confronted by a woman they had clubbed, drugged, and left on a bench. I made a huge tiny mistake. It's so watery. And yet there's a smack of ham to it. But where did the lighter fluid come from?

And guess what else is back. [slow wink] My breakfast? My friskiness. Mama horny Michael. Michael, you are not quite the ladies man I had pictured. Hopefully, we will remedy that when we are in the spa spreading body chocolate on each other. There are very few intelligent, attractive and straight men in this town. Well, that certainly leaves me out.

♪♪ And the thought of rubbin' you is getting so exciting. Sky rockets in flight! Afternoon delight! ♪♪ Tobias Fünke costume. Mister gay is bleeding! Mister gay! I thought the two of us could talk man-on-man. Look at us, crying like a couple of girls on the last day of camp. Mr. Zuckerkorn, you've been warned about touching. You said spanking. Everything they do is so dramatic and flamboyant. It just makes me want to set myself on fire.

I need a tea to give my dingle less tingle. Why are you squeezing me with your body? It's a hug, Michael. I'm hugging you. Well excuse me, Judge Reinhold! That was Tom Cruise, the actor. They said he was some kind of scientist. Please refrain from Mayoneggs during this salmonella scare. Maybe it was the other George Michael. You know, the singer-songwriter. And with deep, deep concentration and, and great focus, he's often able to achieve an erect– You are a worse psychiatrist than you are a son-in-law and you will never get work as an actor because you have no talent.

Obviously this blue part here is the land. Well excuse me, Judge Reinhold! Well excuse me for liking the way they frame my junk! Teamocil. Do you have any idea how often you say the word "afraid"? Well, I know I used it in the Jacuzzi. I think that's one of Mom's little fibs, you know, like I'll sacrifice anything for my children. I call it Tricks –- wait for it – Around The Office.

This is not what it looks like. It looks like you're tweaking her nipples through a chain-link fence. It's Sunday, but screw it — juice box time. And here you are coming out of your mother's third base! I spent so much time making sweet love on my wife that it's hard to hear anything over the clatter of her breasts. I was hoping he would be gifted sexually. The only thing I found in the fridge was a dead dove in a bag. Are all the guys in here… you know? George Sr.: No, not all of them. Barry: Yeah. It's never the ones you hope.

I think I might have someone who's going to circumvrent the law. I'm going to buy you the single healthiest call girl this town has ever seen. Heart attack never stopped old big bear! Sure, let the little fruit do it. HUZZAH! Although George Michael had only got to second base, he'd gone in head first, like Pete Rose. She's always got to wedge herself in the middle of us so that she can control everything. Yeah. Mom's awesome. I [bleeped] the business model. Yeah, she had all kinds of orgasms.

Wow, this is the best free scrapbooking class I've ever taken! ps This one really cracks me up for some reason. George Michael, you want to put your head down there by his drainage shunt? I'm not a prostitute. Then I shall let you live!

Oh…yeah…the guy in the…the $4,000 suit is holding the elevator for a guy who doesn't make that in three months. Come on! Yeah, well, have you seen the new Mustang? You could hump that hood.

I spent so much time making sweet love on my wife that it's hard to hear anything over the clatter of her breasts. Sweet old thing. Only two of those words describe Mom, so I know you're lying to me.