The only thing I found in the fridge was a dead dove in a bag. I'm not a prostitute. Then I shall let you live! So maybe you could start jete-ing, and stop je-terrorizing me!

I'M A MONSTER!! These are my awards, Mother. From Army. The seal is for marksmanship, and the gorilla is for sand racing. I run a pretty tight ship around here. With a pool table. Fun and failure both start out the same way. You boys know how to shovel coal? I shall hide behind the couch. (Guy's a pro.)

I just don't want him to point out my cracker ass in front of Ann. Everything they do is so dramatic and flamboyant. It just makes me want to set myself on fire. She's not 'that Mexican', Mom. She's my Mexican. And she's Colombian or something. I don't appreciate the dry British humor. I'm going to buy you the single healthiest call girl this town has ever seen. She's not that Mexican, Mom. She's my Mexican. And she's Columbian or something.

Oh, like when they say "poofter" to mean "tourist", yes. A million [bleep]ing diamonds! Perhaps an attic shall I seek. And the soup of the day is bread. The CIA should've just Googled for his hideout, evidently. I figured out a way to make money while I'm working! Mom always taught us to curl up in a ball and remain motionless when confronted. She's always got to wedge herself in the middle of us so that she can control everything. Yeah. Mom's awesome.

But where did the lighter fluid come from? If that man's straight, then I am sober. Am I in two thirds of a hospital room? I will be a bigger and hairier mole than the one on your inner left thigh! Heart attack never stopped old big bear! What, so the guy we are meeting with can't even grow his own hair? COME ON! I spent so much time making sweet love on my wife that it's hard to hear anything over the clatter of her breasts. Let me take off my assistant's skirt and put on my Barbra-Streisand-in-The-Prince-of-Tides ass-masking therapist pantsuit.

Friday night. And don't make the water too hot. The scabs come right off. I hear the jury's still out on science. Ah, it is a rock, though. Should beat everything. Gob: There's not a lot of logic to it.

I got Michael out of his marriage, didn't I? Actually, she died. Let me out that Queen. She calls it a Mayonegg.

No, no, it's pronounced a-nal-ra-pist. It wasn't really the pronunciation that bothered me. I'm foolish and I'm funny and I'm needy. Am I needy? Are you sure I'm not needy? 'Cause I feel needy sometimes. Excuse me, do these effectively hide my thunder? It's so watery. And yet there's a smack of ham to it. So Ann, the question is, do you want a man or a boy? I know how I would answer. She tried pesto for the first time. Imagine that, 92 years old and she never tried pesto.

It's one banana Michael, what could it cost, ten dollars? The Army had half a day. Go ahead, touch the cornballer.

I will pack your sweet pink mouth with so much ice cream you'll be the envy of every Jerry and Jane on the block! These are my awards, Mother. From Army. The seal is for marksmanship, and the gorilla is for sand racing. She's a contestant. It's sorta like an inner beauty pageant. Ah, there it is. First I blow him, then I poke him. Heyyyyyy Uncle Father Oscar. A lady of the evening. Working girl. She turns illusions for money. She's a girl, I need to teach her how to be a woman. Within her lies a queen. Let me out that queen.