If I make this comeback, I'll buy you a hundred George Michaels that you can teach to drive! I don't criticize you! And if you're worried about criticism, sometimes a diet is the best defense. I'm foolish and I'm funny and I'm needy. Am I needy? Are you sure I'm not needy? 'Cause I feel needy sometimes. He's going to be all right.

Popcorn shrimp… with club sauce. [sniffs hand] Oh, God. I'm going to run this through again on "pots and pans." I believe you will find the dessert to be both engrossing and high-grossing! So we don't get dessert? Douche chill!

I deceived you, mom. Tricked makes it sound like we have a playful relationship. So did you see the new Poof? His name's Gary and we don't need anymore lawsuits. I need a fake passport, preferably to France…I like the way they think. Oh…yeah…the guy in the…the $4,000 suit is holding the elevator for a guy who doesn't make that in three months. Come on!

The only thing I found in the fridge was a dead dove in a bag. Gob: You didn't eat that, did you? Monday morning. COME ON! No! These are just strippers! Look how hot they are!

Well, Michael, I did not find their buffoonery amusing. Well, they got the Asian right… "hotties" might be a stretch. Wine only turns to alcohol if you let it sit. There's a girl in my soup!

Heyyyyyy Uncle Father Oscar. I've been in the film business for a while but I just cant seem to get one in the can. It's a jetpack, Michael. What could go wrong? Oh, like when they say "poofter" to mean "tourist", yes. Mr. Zuckerkorn, you've been warned about touching. You said spanking. You just grab that brownish area by its points and you don't let go no matter what your mother tells you! Who? i just dont want him to point out my cracker ass in front of ann. No one was making fun of Andy Griffith. I can't emphasize that enough.

A trick is something a whore does for money…or candy. … or cocaine. Hey, look at that – you're mean sober, too. I've used one adjective to describe myself. What is it? With spicy club sauce. That's the first time we were in the shower since our honeymoon. And this time, no tears. See for more good stuff.

I run a pretty tight ship around here. With a pool table. They don't appreciate him. It's his glasses… they make him look like a lizard. Plus he's self-conscious. Butterscotch! Want a lick?

I hear the jury's still out on science. WHY was this show cancelled? I mean, COME ON. Chaw-chee, chaw-chee chaw-chee! Coo coo ca cha! Ah coodle doodle do Caw ca caw, caw ca caw. It's ok. You be with Yam. Oh, yeah, the $4,000 suit is holding the elevator for a guy who doesn't make that in 3 months. Come on!

Say goodbye to THESE! GENE!! [screams] I didn't get into this business to please sophomore Tracy Schwartzman, so… onward and upward. On… Why, Tracy?! Why?!! I hate the Wetlands. They're stupid and wet, and there are bugs everywhere, and I think I maced a crane. Say goodbye to THESE! [climbing under trampoline] This shall keep me safe from the hot Mexican sun. I'm afraid I'm with Michael on this one. The guy runs a prison, he can have any piece of ass he wants. I need a tea to give my dingle less tingle.