One for the ladies. Fried cheese… with club sauce. Popcorn shrimp… with club sauce. Chicken fingers… with spicy club sauce. I'M A MONSTER!!

♪♪ It's The Final Countdown ♪♪ They frame my junk. The worst that could happen is that I could spill coffee all over this $3,000 suit. COME ON. And I wouldn't just lie there, if that's what you're thinking. That's not what I WAS thinking. I'm not a prostitute. Michael: Then I shall let you live!

Look what the homosexuals have done to me! You can't just comb that out and reset it? That was Tom Cruise, the actor. Lucille: They said he was some kind of scientist. I deceived you, mom. Tricked makes it sound like we have a playful relationship.

No, Pop-pop does not get a treat, I just brought you a [bleep]ing pizza. Don't call my escorts whores. She's not that Mexican, Mom. She's my Mexican. And she's Columbian or something. Dad would stage elaborate situations using a one-armed man to teach us lessons. Either I zip down, or he zips up, and that is a mighty long zipper on Mother's Cher jumpsuit. I call it Tricks –- wait for it – Around The Office. In the mid '90s, Tobias formed a folk music band with Lindsay and Maebe which he called Dr. Funke's 100 Percent Natural Good Time Family Band Solution. The group was underwritten by the Natural Food Life Company, a division of Chem-Grow, an Allen Crayne acqusition, which was part of the Squimm Group. Their motto was simple: We keep you alive. Even though sooooo many people in this office are begging for it.

Uncle Gob, was Aunt Lindsay ever pregnant? Yeah, sure, dozens of times. Caw ca caw, caw ca caw, caw ca caw, caw ca caw. I've got a nice hard cot with his name on it. You'd do that to your own brother? I said "cot." Actually, that was a box of Oscar's legally obtained medical marijuana. Primo bud. Real sticky weed. Got a big ass room at the travelodge. What a fun, sexy time for you. I know, I just call her Annabelle cause she's shaped like a…she's the belle of the ball!

I'll buy you a hundred George Michaels that you can teach to drive! So you take your mom to work every day? Bummer. Moms are such a pain in the ass, huh? It's, like, die already!

I'd rather be dead in California than alive in Arizona. I think I might have someone who's going to circumvrent the law. It just seems like there's still light coming in from under the door.

If mother sees this, she will blow a cow. That was Tom Cruise, the actor. Lucille: They said he was some kind of scientist. However, she mistook the drowsy eye alcohol warning for a winking eye alcohol suggestion. Interfere? I ought to pull down your pants and spank your ass raw. Michael: I'm sorry, have we met? Of course. The "Bob Loblaw Law Blog." Wow. You, sir, are a mouthful! Dad asked me to do this on the day he pleads not guilty, as a spectacular protest. A…. ? Mr. Zuckerkorn, you've been warned about touching. You said spanking.

The only thing I found in the fridge was a dead dove in a bag. Well, I spent so much time making sweet love on my wife that it's hard to hear anything over the clatter of her breasts. The worst that could happen is that I could spill coffee all over this $3,000 suit. COME ON. Aren't you the sweetest thing, spending time with what's left of your uncle. Great, now I'm gonna smell to high heaven like a tuna melt! The Army had half a day.

It's ok. You be with Yam. Dad asked me to do this on the day he pleads not guilty, as a spectacular protest. A…. ? I don't want no part of yo tight-ass country-club, ya freak bitch! I see you've wasted no time in filling my seat hole. It walked on my pillow! Steve Holt? The moron jock? We'll have to find something to do so that people can look at you without wanting to kill themselves. Stop licking my hand, you horse's ass.