What's gotten into you? Have you been eating cheese? Dad would stage elaborate situations using a one-armed man to teach us lessons. I'm not a prostitute. Michael: Then I shall let you live! The guy runs a prison, he can have any piece of ass he wants. I prematurely shot my wad on what was supposed to be a dry run..so now I'm afraid I have something of a mess on my hands. Don't worry, these young beauties have been nowhere near the bananas. The worst that could happen is that I could spill coffee all over this $3,000 suit. COME ON. I'm not a prostitute. Then I shall let you live!

Hola, is Rosa still alive? No? Well this is not my day. Friend of mine from college. He also has a boat tho not called the Seaward. I'm gonna build me an airport, put my name on it. Why, Michael? So you can fly away from your feelings? I [bleeped] the business model. Yeah, she had all kinds of orgasms. Fun and failure both start out the same way.

The Army had half a day. Sorry, some of my students are arguing the significance of the shankbone on the seder plate. But we do not - NOT wag our genitals at one another to make a point. We have unlimited juice? This party is going to be off the hook. We all need to pick a day to try and make trend. Here he comes. Here comes John Wayne.

That's my son, you pothead! The only thing more terrifying than the escaped lunatic's hook was his twisted call… Heyyyyy campers! Heyyyyyy, Uncle Father Oscar. I need a fake passport, preferably to France… I like the way they think.

Do you have any idea how often you say the word afraid? Well, I know I used it in the Jacuzzi. Oh, I don't have any drugs for sale, unless… did you want me to follow you to your car? Up yours, granny! You couldn't handle it! Touché, Pandora.

If I look like a man who made love to his wife last night – it's because I almost did. I didn't mean who… I meant… her? Are you aware of this? Coming soon. Indeed. I don't want no part of yo' tight-ass country club, ya freak bitch!

I got Michael out of his marriage, didn't I? Actually, she died. I don't appreciate the dry British humor.

¡Soy loco por los Cornballs! Mr. Zuckerkorn, you've been warned about touching. You said spanking.

I've been in the film business for a while but I just can't seem to get one in the can. A flower in my garden, a mystery in my panties. I made a huge tiny mistake. Let me out that Queen.

There's a girl in my soup! If you're suggesting I play favorites, you're wrong. I love all of my children equally. [earlier] I don't care for Gob. She's not 'that Mexican', Mom. She's my Mexican. And she's Colombian or something. It looks like you've been looking for dragons… in the future. Look at us, crying like a couple of girls on the last day of camp. O-kay, who'd like a banger in the mouth? Look at us, crying like a bunch of girls on the last day of camp.