I'd rather be dead in California than alive in Arizona. ♪♪ It ain't easy being white… ♪♪ And I am rock steady. No more dizzies. He's a regular Freddie Wilson, that one.

♪♪ And the thought of rubbin' you is getting so exciting. Sky rockets in flight! Afternoon delight! ♪♪ I didn't get into this business to please sophomore Tracy Schwartzman, so… onward and upward. On… Why, Tracy?! Why?!! You mean the guy we're meeting with can't even grow his own hair? Come on! The CIA should've just Googled for his hideout, evidently. She keeps saying that God is going to show me a sign. The… something of my ways. I'm a complete failure. I can't even fake the death of a stripper. And guess what else is back. [slow wink] My breakfast? My friskiness. Mama horny Michael. I'm going to buy you the single healthiest call girl this town has ever seen.

No one was making fun of Andy Griffith. I can't emphasize that enough. I made a huge tiny mistake. Well, obviously, I'm not a big guy. I'm not a Carl Weathers, par example. However, she mistook the drowsy eye alcohol warning for a winking eye alcohol suggestion. She calls it a mayonegg.

A-coodle-doodle-doo. A-coodle-doodle-doo. It's so watery. And yet there's a smack of ham to it. Oh, like when they say "poofter" to mean "tourist", yes. So Ann, the question is, do you want a man or a boy? I know how I would answer. Even though sooooo many people in this office are begging for it. She keeps saying that God is going to show me a sign. The… something of my ways. Wisdom? It's probably wisdom.

Hey, maybe you could pop a tent outside with your cousin Maeby… it'd be a good chance to rub off on her. O-kay, who'd like a banger in the mouth? She keeps saying that God is going to show me a sign. The… something of my ways. Wisdom? It's probably wisdom. Did Ted make an appointment? No. Well then Ted can GET THE HELL OUT OF THIS OFFICE! YOU GET THE HELL OUT! I've been in the film business for a while but I just can't seem to get one in the can.

If you didn't have adult onset diabetes, I wouldn't mind giving you a little sugar. Nellie is blowing them all AWAY.

A trick is something a whore does for money… or cocaine. That's the first time we were in the shower since our honeymoon. And this time, no tears. We need a name. Maybe 'Operation Hot Mother'.

Oh, yeah, the guy in the the $4,000 suit is holding the elevator for a guy who doesn't make that in three months. Come on! Fried cheese… with club sauce. Popcorn shrimp… with club sauce. Chicken fingers… with spicy club sauce. She's always got to wedge herself in the middle of us so that she can control everything. Yeah. Mom's awesome. The only thing I found in the fridge was a dead dove in a bag. That's the first time we were in the shower since our honeymoon. And this time, no tears. I just don't want him to point out my cracker ass in front of Ann.

Michael was concerned that he was caught in a lie about his family. The family was concerned that they were being confronted by a woman they had clubbed, drugged, and left on a bench. They frame my junk. I just dont want him to point out my cracker ass in front of Ann. Okay, Lindsay, are you forgetting that I was a professional twice over - an analyst and a therapist. The world's first analrapist. I want to cry so bad, but I don't think I can spare the moisture. I'm afraid I'm with Michael on this one. The guy runs a prison, he can have any piece of ass he wants. It looks like you've been looking for dragons… in the future.

Let's make Ann the backup, okay? Very good way to think about her, as a backup. How do you know Steve Holt? Are you in AA? And I am rock steady. No more dizzies. I need a tea to give my dingle less tingle. Michael, look, this has got to stop. I mean, flattered? Yes. Interested? Not tonight. You were just a turd out there, you know? You couldn't kick, and you couldn't run, you know? You were just a turd. They want to break his legs. It's a good thing he's already got that little scooter. You want to have some guy reach around you in the middle of the night, start messing with your junk?