Ann, you need to decide whether you want a man or a boy. I know how I'd answer. I shall hide behind the couch. (Guy's a pro.) There are very few intelligent, attractive and straight men in this town. Well, that certainly leaves me out. You can control your bladder when you're dead! I hate the Wetlands. They're stupid and wet, and there are bugs everywhere, and I think I maced a crane.

I don't care if it takes from now till the end of Shrimpfest. I'm sure Egg is a great person. Even it means me taking a chubby… I will suck it up.

Don't ask "Can I"… ask "I Can!" If this were a Lifetime Moment of Truth movie, this would be our act break. But it wasn't. Even it means me taking a chubby… I will suck it up. Am I in two thirds of a hospital room? Dad would stage elaborate situations using a one-armed man to teach us lessons. You mean the guy we're meeting with can't even grow his own hair? Come on!

You mean the guy we're meeting with can't even grow his own hair? Come on! Smack of ham. What is she doing at a beauty pageant? Is she running the lights or something? Quicken! Premiere!

A trick is something a whore does for money…or candy. … or cocaine. Speaking of settling, how's Ann?

I've always been deeply passionate about nature. Perhaps you remember Neuterfest? Caw ca caw, caw ca caw, caw ca caw, caw ca caw.

Chickens don't clap! The Army had half a day. Say goodbye to THESE! A group of British builders operating outside the O.C. Everybody dance NOW. Well, they got the Asian right… "hotties" might be a stretch.

You need to do more with Rita. Believe me, I'd like to. That's how Tony Wonder lost a nut. I'll have a vodka rocks. (Mom, it's breakfast time.) And a piece of toast.

YOU'RE the Chiclet! Not me. Caw ca caw, caw ca caw, caw ca caw! She calls it a Mayonegg. Coo coo ca chaw. Coo coo ca chaw. Coo coo ca chaw. Well, obviously, I'm not a big guy. I'm not a Carl Weathers, par example. Oh, COME ON! If you're suggesting I play favorites, you're wrong. I love all of my children equally. [earlier] I don't care for Gob. No, she's in it. She's a contestant. It's sorta like an inner beauty pageant. Ah, there it is. Either I zip down, or he zips up, and that is a mighty long zipper on Mother's Cher jumpsuit.

Michael, I'm your older brother. I'll never be proud of you. He's going to be all right.