A sea of waiters and no one will take a drink order. Are you aware of this? Coming soon. Indeed. One for the ladies. She keeps saying that God is going to show me a sign. The… something of my ways. Wisdom?

Look what the homosexuals have done to me! You can't just comb that out and reset it? I will be a bigger and hairier mole than the one on your inner left thigh! Michael, you are not quite the ladies man I had pictured. Hopefully, we will remedy that when we are in the spa spreading body chocolate on each other. I figured out a way to make money while I'm working! If that man's straight, then I am sober. This is the best free scrapbooking class I've ever taken!

No, Pop-pop does not get a treat. I just bought you a f**king pizza. If that man's straight, then I am sober.

Mom… after all these years, God's not going to take a call from you. I was once called the worst audience participant Cirque du Soleil ever had. I just don't want him to point out my cracker ass in front of Ann. They frame my junk.

I see you've wasted no time in filling my seat hole. Perhaps an attic shall I seek. Stop licking my hand, you horse's ass. Well excuse me, Judge Reinhold. We have unlimited juice? This party is going to be off the hook. Well excuse me for liking the way they frame my junk!

Yeah, that's a cultural problem is what it is. You know, your average American male is in a perpetual state of adolescence, you know, arrested development. (Hey. That's the name of the show!) If you're suggesting I play favorites, you're wrong. I love all of my children equally. I don't care for Gob. Make love in your *own* hand, Mother! No, Pop-pop does not get a treat, I just brought you a [bleep]ing pizza. Yes. Lindsay and I are planning a night of heterosexual intercourse.

I am having a love affair with this ice cream sandwich. Did Ted make an appointment? No. Well, then Ted can GET THE HELL OUT OF THIS OFFICE! YOU GET THE HELL OUT!

I know what an erection feels like, Michael. I know what an erection feels like, Michael. And here you are coming out of your mother's third base! You're losing blood, aren't you? Gob: Probably, my socks are wet. Operation Hot Mother. Oh, yeah. The guy in the $4,000 suit is holding the elevator for a guy who doesn't make that in three months. COME ON! I'M A MONSTER!!

It's so watery. And yet there's a smack of ham to it. Oh, like when they say "poofter" to mean "tourist", yes. Look at us, crying like a bunch of girls on the last day of camp. Do you guys know where I could get one of those gold necklaces with the T on it? That's a cross. Across from where? Maybe it was the other George Michael. You know, the singer-songwriter. Up yours, granny! You couldn't handle it! You stay on top of her Buddy. Don't be afraid to ride her. Hard.

She's always got to wedge herself in the middle of us so that she can control everything. Yeah. Mom's awesome. Oh Gob, you could charm the black off a telegram boy.