If that man's straight, then I am sober. Uncle Gob… was Aunt Lindsay ever pregnant? Yeah, sure, dozens of times. I'm not interested in you that way. Tobias: What way? Michael: Pick one. And don't make the water too hot. The scabs come right off. And with deep, deep concentration and, and great focus, he's often able to achieve an erect– If I wanted something your thumb touched I'd eat the inside of your ear.

She keeps saying that God is going to show me a sign. The… something of my ways. Wisdom? It's probably wisdom. Interfere? I ought to pull down your pants and spank your ass raw. Michael: I'm sorry, have we met? And the soup of the day is bread. I'm tired of trying to find happiness through lies and self-medicating. If you need me, I'll be at the bar. What's gotten into you? Have you been eating cheese?

That coat costs more than your house! WHY was this show cancelled? I mean, COME ON. Are you aware of this? Coming soon. Indeed. I just don't want him to point out my cracker ass in front of Ann. Am I in two thirds of a hospital room? I'm gonna build me an airport, put my name on it. Why, Michael? So you can fly away from your feelings? No, Pop-pop does not get a treat. I just bought you a f**king pizza. What have we always said is the most important thing?

What a fun, sexy time for you. I prematurely shot my wad on what was supposed to be a dry run, so now I'm afraid I have something of a mess on my hands.

Friday night. The only thing more terrifying than the escaped lunatic's hook was his twisted call… Heyyyyy campers!

Don't leave your Uncle T-bag hanging. Wow. We're just blowing through nap time, aren't we. He's going to be all right.

Did you know that more frozen bananas are sold right here on this boardwalk than anywhere in the OC? I'm foolish and I'm funny and I'm needy. Am I needy? Are you sure I'm not needy? 'Cause I feel needy sometimes. I've been in the film business for a while but I just can't seem to get one in the can. Turns out he ended up getting too friendly with the teddy bear. How could I say no to the woman who gave me chlamydia? I don't care if it takes from now till the end of Shrimpfest. A flower in my garden, a mystery in my panties. I'm not interested in you that way. Tobias: What way? Michael: Pick one.

Mister gay is bleeding! Mister gay! Look what the homosexuals have done to me! You can't just comb that out and reset it? You can always tell a Milford man. Chicken fingers… with spicy club sauce. Mr. Zuckerkorn, you've been warned about touching. Barry: You said spanking. Gosh Mom… after all these years, God's not going to take a call from you. Michael, you are not quite the ladies man I had pictured. Hopefully, we will remedy that when we are in the spa spreading body chocolate on each other.

What's gotten into you? Have you been eating cheese? Hahahahah! Mr. Zuckerkorn, you've been warned about touching. You said spanking.

What's gotten into you? Have you been eating cheese? There are dozens of us! Dozens!