If I look like a man who made love to his wife last night – it's because I almost did. No, Pop-pop does not get a treat, I just brought you a [bleep]ing pizza. Chaw-chee, chaw-chee chaw-chee! Coo coo ca cha! Ah coodle doodle do Caw ca caw, caw ca caw. That was Tom Cruise, the actor. They said he was some kind of scientist. Happy Franklin Friday.

Maybe it was the eleven months he spent in the womb. The doctor said there were claw marks on the walls of her uterus. I think the only time you cooked for us was the morning Rosa's mom died. You gave us cereal in an ashtray. I'm going to buy you the single healthiest call girl this town has ever seen. Obviously this blue part here is the land. It feels good to be back in a queen!

Well, I spent so much time making sweet love on my wife that it's hard to hear anything over the clatter of her breasts. So maybe you could start jete-ing, and stop je-terrorizing me! I'm going to buy you the single healthiest call girl this town has ever seen. No, she's in it. She's a contestant. It's sorta like an inner beauty pageant. Ah, there it is.

I got Michael out of his marriage, didn't I? Actually, she died. I just dont want him to point out my cracker ass in front of Ann. I'm gonna build me an airport, put my name on it. Why, Michael? So you can fly away from your feelings? I spent so much time making sweet love on my wife that it's hard to hear anything over the clatter of her breasts. No, Pop-pop does not get a treat. I just bought you a f**king pizza. No one was making fun of Andy Griffith. I can't emphasize that enough. I will be a bigger and hairier mole than the one on your inner left thigh! Today I learned this is a real place, tho more lush than the OC.

Did you know that more frozen bananas are sold right here on this boardwalk than anywhere in the OC? I am going to my spin class. I thought you had vertigo. Yeah, like I'm going to spill coffee all over this $3,000 suit? Come on! I hear the jury's still out on science. Oh by the way, Doctor said no kissing her on the face for one week. I was like make it two weeks, see if I care! When a man needs to prove to a woman that he's actually… When a man loves a woman… And the soup of the day is bread.

It's OUR nausea. This show was cancelled. I mean, COME ON. Well excuse me, Judge Reinhold. Someone order 140 pounds of upper body strength? She wanted to look 48. I nearly airbrushed her into oblivion. Ended up checking "albino" on the form. What have we always said is the most important thing? Excuse me, do these effectively hide my thunder?

Yes, she happens to be more experienced than a normal girl, but sometimes love should be… terrifying. Please refrain from discussing or engaging in any sort of interoffice [bleep] or [bleep] or finger[bleep] or [bleep]sting or [bleep] or even [bleep]. Heart attack never stopped old Big Bear. I didn't even know we were calling him Big Bear. We never had the chance to.

We all need to pick a day to try and make trend. How could I say no to the woman who gave me chlamydia? I thought the two of us could talk man-on-man. And that is why Jesus was often referred to as the King of Kings. Queens. The King of Queens. God knows they're squinters. I could use a leather jacket for when I'm on my hog and have to go into a controlled slide. Happy. I figured out a way to make money while I'm working!

So Ann, the question is, do you want a man or a boy? I know how I would answer. Aren't you the sweetest thing, spending time with what's left of your uncle.

If I wanted something your thumb touched, I'd eat the inside of your ear. After all, why should you go to jail for a crime somebody else noticed?