I'll have a vodka rocks. (Mom, it's breakfast time.) And a piece of toast. So did you see the new Poof? His name's Gary, and we don't need anymore lawsuits. Everyone's laughing, and riding, and cornholing except Buster. Butterscotch! Want a lick? There's a new daddy in town. A discipline daddy. Wow. We're just blowing through nap time, aren't we. There are dozens of us! Dozens! When a man needs to prove to a woman that he's actually… When a man loves a woman…

I cheated and I lied and I whored around. Don't worry, these young beauties have been nowhere near the bananas.

Well, if you want to play Eve, you got to get in line behind what, above five homos. I was once called the worst audience participant Cirque du Soleil ever had. But where did the lighter fluid come from? It looks like you've been looking for dragons… in the future. No, it's the opposite. It's like my heart is getting hard.

Suddenly playing with yourself is a scholarly pursuit? A trick is something a whore does for money…or candy. … or cocaine. Oh, hi, Mom. I have the afternoon free. Really? Did "nothing" cancel? Well, I spent so much time making sweet love on my wife that it's hard to hear anything over the clatter of her breasts.

I was hoping he would be gifted sexually. If I wanted something your thumb touched I'd eat the inside of your ear. Yes, he's like the steel man from The Wizard From Oz.

Buster, what are you doing with mother's rape horn? I know she's a brownish area! With points! And I love her! And I am rock steady. No more dizzies. And THAT'S why you always leave a note. I hate the Wetlands. They're stupid and wet, and there are bugs everywhere, and I think I maced a crane. It was for me. I was going to smoke the marijuana like a cigarette. Yes, Annyong. Your name is Annyong! We all know you're Annyong! Friend of mine from college. He also has a boat tho not called the Seaward.

So you take your mom to work every day? Bummer. Moms are such a pain in the ass, huh? It's, like, die already! And the soup of the day is bread.

Michael, look, this has got to stop. I mean, flattered? Yes. Interested? Not tonight. George Bush doesn't care about black puppets. Coo coo ca chaw. Coo coo ca chaw. No, no, it's pronounced a-nal-ra-pist. It wasn't really the pronunciation that bothered me.

Sorry, some of my students are arguing the significance of the shankbone on the seder plate. But we do not - NOT wag our genitals at one another to make a point. A sea of waiters and no one will take a drink order. We need a name. Maybe 'Operation Hot Mother'. I need a fake passport, preferably to France…I like the way they think. What about macaroni – let me finish – salad? You were just a turd out there, you know? You couldn't kick, and you couldn't run, you know? You were just a turd.

Yo quiero leche. Yo quiero leche de madre. No, Pop-pop does not get a treat. I just bought you a f**king pizza. He's a regular Freddie Wilson, that one.