The guy runs a prison, he can have any piece of ass he wants. You're blowing my mind, Frank. Taste the happy, Michael. Taste it. It tastes kind of like sad. So, what do you say? We got a basket full of father-son fun here. What's Kama Sutra oil? Maybe it's not for us. And I am rock steady. No more dizzies. Mr. Zuckerkorn, you've been warned about touching. Barry: You said spanking. But anyhoo, can you believe that the only reason the club is going under is because it's in a terrifying neighborhood?

You just made a fool out of yourself in front of T-Bone. I'm not a prostitute. Then I shall let you live! Nellie is blowing them all AWAY.

I thought the two of us could talk man-on-man. No! These are just strippers! Look how hot they are! Each year, Oscar attempts the four hundred mile walk from Newport Beach to Berkeley, California. In the twelve years that he's attempted this, he's never made it farther than UC Irvine. Yeah, like I'm going to take a whiz through this $5,000 suit. COME ON. I'm gonna build me an airport, put my name on it. Why, Michael? So you can fly away from your feelings? Look at us, crying like a bunch of girls on the last day of camp. There are dozens of us! DOZENS!

You are a worse psychiatrist than you are a son-in-law and you will never get work as an actor because you have no talent. Ann, you need to decide whether you want a man or a boy. I know how I'd answer. Someone order 140 pounds of upper body strength?

Mom… after all these years, God's not going to take a call from you. Te quiero. English, please. I love you! Great, now I'm late. So did you see the new Poof? His name's Gary, and we don't need anymore lawsuits. No. I was ashamed to be _seen_ with you. I like being with you.

It was the first taste of alcohol Buster had since he was nursing. I need a tea to give my dingle less tingle. Buster's in what we like to call a light to no coma. In layman's terms, it might be considered a very heavy nap. Stop it, stop it. This objectification of women has to stop. It's just Mom and whores.

I shall hide behind the couch. (Guy's a pro.) Could it be love? I know what an erection feels like, Michael. No, it's the opposite. It's like my heart is getting hard. I've made a huge tiny mistake. No, no, it's pronounced a-nal-ra-pist. Oh, yes, there absolutely will be a margarita made in my mouth. I run a pretty tight ship around here. With a pool table.

She's not 'that Mexican', Mom. She's my Mexican. And she's Colombian or something. Never once touched my per diem. I'd go to Craft Service, get some raw veggies, bacon, Cup-A-Soup…baby, I got a stew goin'. Tobias is Queen Mary. That's my son, you pothead! [sniffs hand] Oh, God. I'm going to run this through again on "pots and pans." Boy, I sure feel like a Mary without a Peter and a Paul. I'm a complete failure. I can't even fake the death of a stripper.

I [bleeped] the business model. Yeah, she had all kinds of orgasms. You can control your bladder when you're dead! Sister's my new mother, Mother. And is it just me or is she looking hotter? What is she doing at a beauty pageant? Is she running the lights or something? But I did finally get into Dad's pants. Although I had to have the crotch taken in a little bit. I cheated and I lied and I whored around. Aren't you the sweetest thing, spending time with what's left of your uncle.

Well excuse me, Judge Reinhold. Hair up, glasses off. Buster's in what we like to call a light to no coma. In laymans terms, it might be considered a very heavy nap. If this were a Lifetime Moment of Truth movie, this would be our act break. But it wasn't.